10 Tips for Stressed out Moms who are Busy and Tired

I have been a mom since 2008, when our first son was born. We now have three boys, two teens and a ten year old, and believe me when I tell you that each and every day has its own challenges. No day of parenting has been “easy.” Add in my husband’s thyroid cancer diagnosis of 2020, and it has been a wild ride. Stress levels have been up and down in the past 16 years and stressful situations have caused a breaking point many times in my life. That’s why I feel like I can be a voice from a person who has been through it, and I wanted to write about tips for stressed out moms who are busy and tired.

I have been a mom since 2008, when our first son was born. We now have three boys, two teens and a ten year old, and believe me when I tell you that each and every day has its own challenges. No day of parenting has been “easy.” Add in my husband’s thyroid cancer diagnosis of 2020, and it has been a wild ride. Stress levels have been up and down in the past 16 years and stressful situations have caused a breaking point many times in my life.

Being a mother is so rewarding and I am very thankful for our children, but I do have to purposefully make an effort to take care of myself. It is easy to get lost in the kids’ schedules, housework, cooking, yard work, things that your husband needs, etc. (And I should take this moment to tell you that these are all *my* experiences. I realize this is 2024 and men can cook and stay at home and women can go in to work every day and also hire a maid or a nanny. Kids also can have a full set of chores and Mom doesn’t have to lift a finger. But for me, personally, I am a full time work at home mom who does the majority of the cooking, cleaning, yard work, and laundry. This post isn’t about how my household is ran, but this is just FYI. You and your spouse are free to do whatever you please.)

With that said, no matter what kind of mom you are, stress is going to creep up, at least from time to time. Hopefully you have help, but if you do not, then it can be even more stressful and challenging. I know we want to be all be super mom, but there are healthy ways to deal with mom stress and sometimes, kids’ success can depend on Mom’s own health. I do believe that the demands and higher expectations of children can be a bit much, but there are a number of ways to be the best version of yourself so you can be there for your kids as they are growing up.

Here are my Top 10 tips for the stressed out, busy mom:

1. Create healthy boundaries. Saying no to things you know that you don’t love or cannot pull off is healthy. This includes joining the PTO, being the team mom, being a member of a parent carpool group, teaching a class at church or at Scouts, etc. Creating boundaries at home with your spouse and kids is also important. Do not be afraid to say no. Yes, sometimes we should do something we don’t want to do, but I assume we are all doing that anyway. If something is going to take time away from your family, sleep, or affect your sanity, then feel free to say no and stick to it.

2. Prioritize self-care. Schedule regular time for yourself to recharge and relax. This is something you ENJOY doing that makes you feel like a “new person” when you have done it. Options include, but are not limited to: taking a hot bath, reading a book in silence, getting a manicure, going to the spa, but can also include things like gardening, baking something YOU want to bake, not HAVE to bake, reading a book, or anything that you enjoy doing.

3. Delegate tasks. Every family member should share in the responsibilities of the home. After all, if we are all living in the same house, then we should all be trying to make it clean and livable.  Should being the key word, of course. Sometimes I find myself stressed out trying to get the kids to do their chores in a timely fashion. Decide what you need help with and don’t be afraid to ask your spouse, older children, family members, or even friends for help when you need it. If you need help with getting your child to sport team practices or after school events, check with a parent friend to see if they don’t mind helping. While we moms want to be able to do all the things, it is better to enlist the help of other responsible adults when we have hectic schedules or unique challenges. 

4. Give yourself grace.  If you mess up, forgive yourself. If your house is dirty, forgive yourself. If you forget to return your library book and owe a fine, pay it and forgive yourself. If your kid mess up, know that this is completely normal. They are their own person and will screw up, no matter what you do. We all make mistakes and it is actually healthy for your children to see you make mistakes, work through them, own up to them, and forgive yourself.

5. Get enough sleep. Prioritize rest and create boundaries to let your family members know that you are sleeping. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep every night. I used to hate when people said this to me, because this may be easier said than done, especially when you have babies or kids who don’t sleep through the night, but set a bedtime earlier than usual and look for supplements like Sleep and  Multi Collagen Protein Beauty and Sleep Support to help you get quality sleep. Naps and weekend sleep don’t really make up for sleep lost, but if you can get your spouse, a family member, or a baby-sitter to keep the kids while you sleep once or twice a week, it will really help.

6. Eat nutritious meals. Fuel your body with healthy foods that provide sustained energy. Get help with meal planning, budgeting, and easy family recipes from fellow moms like The Homegrown Mom on Instagram.  Also, avoid relying on caffeine and sugar for quick fixes.  Supplement your diet with the Stressed Out Gut and Women’s multivitamin.

7.  Connect with other moms. Reach out to other mothers who can relate to your experiences. Sharing tips and stories and laughs can provide valuable support and refresh your energy. A phone call to a mom friend is a great way to get a “time out” without mom guilt.

8. Practice gratitude. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and motherhood. You will be amazed how your energy levels are affected when you choose to think positively instead of negatively. Find moments of joy and look for opportunities to laugh, play, and enjoy special moments with your family. These moments can be rejuvenating and help to remind us of what truly matters.

9. Practice deep breathing. Incorporate deep abdominal breathing exercises into your daily routine to promote relaxation and reduce tension. Get down on the floor and stretch and breathe deeply to get a few minutes of exercise and clear your mind. You will be surprised how a few minutes can help your overall health and help with the stress of today. Even going on a short walk can help your mental state.

10. Create a support network. Find other parents to do a babysitting swap once a month. If you have family members that you trust nearby, talk about having them babysit monthly or weekly, or just picking up the slack. If your aunt doesn’t really like watching kids but loves meal planning and cooking dinner, ask her if she will create a few freezer meals for your family each month. If your mom loves to go to the grocery store, send her with a list and some money to give you one less thing to do this week.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling to copy, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support. Mental health is important and sometimes we need a little extra professional help.

Also, if you are a stressed mom with no support system or family, look into local mom groups, churches, or a support group that offers resources and care for new mothers and also stressed-out moms. I am always pleased when I hear of groups that are rallying behind moms raising children alone.